You know something is wrong because you are LONELY SOMETIMES and you are FREE MOST OF THE TIME and you are PRETTY but in pictures you are UGLY and when you think about all you have done you feel GOOD but day-by-day you feel BAD and the light in this place makes you want to dream like Lou Reed dreamed and you wonder if that isn’t enough even as you think, it isn’t enough.
You need MORE LOVE and you need MORE MONEY and SEX and sure, you wouldn’t mind SEX with INTIMACY which is different that SEX WITHOUT INTIMACY in more ways that you care to take the time to put down HERE.
There is FREE PORN. And there are DARK BARS. And there is YOUR NOVEL which needs help.
There are “75 Cool Ways To Look Hot!”
And “Essential Tips for Getting to the Top! (pg. 178)
There are photos of summer gatherings in which you are always off to the side.
There are family members who you would call/email/text about funny things you saw/heard/read but who are no longer living.
This makes you sad and you don’t give a shit about looking HOT and feeling LOVED except if you looked HOT and were feeling LOVED you wouldn’t be spending all this time thinking about DEATH.